get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
