I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
