He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
