She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
