i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
