Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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