she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
