i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
