one two three fourrrrnication!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
