im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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