her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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