I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
