Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
