He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
