Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There r osticjed everywhere
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
