2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just pee around me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
