Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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