med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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