She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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