That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
