I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
