You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
