she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
