He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize