Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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