you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
