I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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