been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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