Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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