okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
