And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
