She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
