woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
