sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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