and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
