i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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