me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
