oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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