I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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