And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
im on a boat
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