Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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