Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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