Kiss
Puke
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
