You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
