had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
