Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
