We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
