plz talk dirty to me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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