You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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