I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
