But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
