sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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