i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
