I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
