I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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