is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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