If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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