your thong is hanging out like whoa
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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