love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
